SPHERE OF INFINITE THOUGHTS

I will stop here.

2005-07-19T03:38:00.000-07:00

This blog is closed.
Will only be filled with short notes. ;)

Backstabberz = Retards

2005-07-18T02:58:00.000-07:00

Its normal to some extend of some people who use their potty mouths against someone like me.
Its your mouth and you have your freedom of speech. You know who you are.
Names are not worth saying for theres no point arguing with a 100% contradiction of your claims. ;)
I'll let you believe what you want. I'm not what you claim i am. I don't have to prove otherwise. Theres no damn point proving you wrong. I can just say YOU'RE RIGHT about what you want to think false of me. LOL. Hahha ;P
I'm absolutely concious of what i'm doing and its no fcuken business of yours. ;)
I'm not blind, retarded, nor am i deft. Trust me, you don't wanna end up eating your own shit.
What goes around comes around

If you're envious or jealous, take a broom and shove it up your own ;D
Its up to me how i want to live, i don't have to take advice from some retarded bitch.
Retards newbies have such old-fashioned thinking. Its the new era for damn sake.

Guys and girls could always be best friends. Why not just be a friend rather than gossip behind my back? I'm a nice guy.
I'm here to put up a stop sign. If you don't hit the brakes, don't blame me if you fall off the cliff. Haha ;P
I'm really going to use black magic if its what it takes to PUT A SOCK IN IT. Lol. No such thing as black magic. Black science, maybe. rofl

I HATE RETARDED PEOPLE and GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE RETARDS. HE DOESN'T HAVE TOO, HE MADE THEM THAT WAY. SO ALL I CAN DO IS LEARN HOW TO CALL SATAN TO CLAIM THEIR SORRY ASSES OUT OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH CAUSE GOD NEVER FORGAVE THEM FOR BEING RETARDS. - Another thrash talk worth gold ;)

life is fragile

2005-07-17T00:37:00.000-07:00

we loose things just as fast as we gain them.

Whatever we gain, we can loose.

Nothing last forever.

In a split of a second, we will be gone even before we know it.

Cherish the moments doing what ever you want in life.

To me, its go big in life or don't even live.

Dreams forever in my eyes.

Visions and motivations for today and tommorrow.

Every failure is a step to success.

Mistakes well learned from.

Fall but always get back.

Persistance drives me.

God the heavenly forgives me and keeps me alive.

Thank you. I'm grateful im far better off than millions of people in the world.

I'll always remember to pursue my purpose in life rather than living in my own selfish world.

I'll always stick up to my words.

So shall it be.

Fyi, not a poem. :P

Summary of Fantastic Day

2005-07-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

Woke up. Eat breakfast.
Watch Tv. Did some reading.
Went to addmaths tuition.
Got some sms, fon calls whatever the whole day.
Then went movies with someone.
Then enjoy watching Fantastic Four.
Then go home.
Sms someone then bed time.

LOl ;P Fantastic day indeed.

Soda Eyes Popping Blogsites

2005-07-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

Gassy eyes i've got now. Feels like poping like a can of soda after reading some blog sites.

Example

xiaxue.blogspot.com
kennysia.com

and a few others

These sites hits crazy counters. The number of visitors, extremely high.
Its either they're sick funny or real retardly stupid.
They'd do anything for fucken attention.
Mostly are singabloodyporeans and asians.
I'm one too. Add me to their collection? Not... Fcuk em.

Some of them do earn some cash from adverts. Not bad. Good work.
All in all, its their blog and its their rules and opinions.
You have to fucken respect that.

I blog for personal stuff. Not for fame. Not for making people laugh. Not for publicity. I do it for fun.
Just want to keep personal track records. Thats all.

Kuching/ Singabloodyporeans people do blog alot it seems.

One thing, i like bitching like xiaxue.
She's such an ass. I'm not her fan but
she's got the fucken attitude.

She acts like she owns a dickhead of her own. Seriously, she's cocky enough to be a man. Respect that.

Thrash Attitude Thrash Language

2005-07-15T06:08:00.000-07:00

For your information, i don't have to express myself appropriately. I express myself as i wish. Sometimes i'm formal sometimes i'm nasty with my language. I use thrash language sometimes only because i'm overwhelmed by my pleasure to express my thoughts. Its just gives me pleasure spamming my own blog. Read at your own risk. Pure bullshit sometimes that is for sure. ;)

Surprisingly, alot of my friends do read my blog. I don't have time to add gadgets to my blog. I didn't even install a HIT COUNTER which shows how many people visited my blog. I think i already know the numbers.
I'm updating my blog almost daily. Its damn fun~

DON'T CONTINUE ANY FURTHUR READING IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING.
NO PICTURES ON THIS BLOG! F-OFF~

Rese Rese

2005-07-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

Just read rese's blog. It seems i've not being paying much attention to my own cousin. It seems that i've been too obsessed living in my own world till i forget hers. Well lifes great, you can't entertain so many friends and cousins. Well blogging is good for keeping in touch. Rese, your so lucky your parents are getting you a suzuki. swift. Thats an awesome car. All in all it'll cost like RM100k with interest over the years. I've been in the car. Woot ;D
Drove it too. Something like Jazz but its cool alright. Definately better than proton saga. Man, you don't know how envious i am. I'd rather have a car than a hot chic. Then again, i don't need a car. I want it ;P Still i want it. I don care even if its gen 2 or whatever. I want one ;P

I'm thinking of ways not to be a leech. Parasite money sucking son of a gun. Well, if i could be a leech.. i would. Makes my life so much easier. Well ,my mum is gonna get me one if like i get a scholarship that can save more money than the car.

Her friendster profile is flaming ass. :D I don't really care but people might get offended. Personally, i think it rocks.

Right.
Back to my life. It was hectic today. Firstoff, i was fucken disorientated this morning. Slept like 4 hours tops thanks to bugs(spywares and damn stuff). My comp is doing pretty okay now. Not that healthy but taking supplements to survive. Firewall blocks the fucken hackers. Chest aches like damn cause i re-worked out after like 3 weeks or so at school gym. Did bench presses like a fcuken machine. Pushed myself to the max on thursday morning. I don't really have time to work out. Besides, i'm not eating double portion of food like i normally do when on a weight gaining programme. Eat till you feel like puking(damn wrong spelling). Last time i gained was 5 kgs of muscles/fat. I did improve on my weight tho. :P God damn, i felt good but i think i'm slowly going back to square one. Somehow, if you focus too much on books and you don't tone.. your fcuked. Guys can't focus too much on so many things. I'm short of cash to spend too. I'm a choosy eater and i don't want to torture myself. I need to budget. I know i will look good if i really work on it. Nothing can stop me.

Did my hair today, messed it up and did it in like 5 minutes only. Look like einstein with a crazy hairdo.
Was in a rush to school tho. Rid and Stephen left for National First aid comp in penang. Good luck and all the best to them both my good buddies. Especially stephen, the best kisser in the whole sarawak. The best C.P.Rer guy. He'd give you the greatest kiss of life! Fcuk~
He even joked about asking me to call him if i had a hot girl and her heart stopped. He'd give her his greatest kiss of life. Wahaha. Funny ass stephen is. :) Thumbs up to the man~ Well, his face showed up in borneo post. They were Sarawak Champions.
At Mrs Hon, he smsed me all the way from penang asking for Ehon's number. Probably ask Ehon questions about first aid or whatever.

Side track. Get back to me life. ;P
Went to school. Beside me was an empty seat. Franklin, Ian C. Ian.T filled the vacancy for the rest of the day. Talk about good and loyal friends. I don't really care whos my friends, as long as they be just themselves and i respect that. Frank as usual, up to his insaneness. He scared the shit out of Kelv by purposely filling a broken gas lighter with just water and wanted to light it at Kelv. The reaction was super damn funny cause kelv thought it was the actual butane liquid inside. Kelv freaked out. He thought frank was about to light his(kelv) ASS on FIRE. WOOT :P

Nesh was scolded by the GOLD FISH TEACHER. She almost exploded in tears. You could tell by her voice tone cracking up into bits. "Dinesh, keluar sekarang!!" She's our bahasa malaysia teacher. I couldn't give a fuck about what she teaches. She is a temporary teacher. Everyone in class were like talking. I don't know what nesh did but he made her pissed that she almost cried. LOL.
Nesh apologized to her in the end and went out of the class as instructed for the period.
That was highlight for the day. Other than fart gas by nard. :P
Nesh was kinda scared she called his mom. Ah, its normal. He's just scared that fucken goldfish screw up his testimonials.

Yeah. Alice our moral class teacher was a bitch. Shes always boasting about her fucken law diploma which doesn't even make her a lawyer. She screwed me once, i was numbed to the core the whole day. All i did was i didn't copy what he wrote on the fcuken black board. Don't fuck around with this bitch. Don't underestimate her size. She can scream at you straight to your fcuken face. Probably even slap you. She'd die of heart attack and high blood pressure probably. The worst bitch teacher in our school award goes to her. Give ya round of applause!!!!
Her english is rather, localized. Try to be different but she ain't no different. I really wonder how the fcuk she can win any court case with the slangs she uses. She mentored our school team and ended up only 1st runner up after loosing to Jacintha, Lilian & associates in a mooting competition. Wtf, use a bunch of form 4 up againsts people like Lilian Tang and Jacintha Tagal? St3 outwits StJoe in Mootin Grand Final so says Borneo Post.
I was like WTF.. alice.. tok so big end up second place.
Then she talked about putting the pressure on Pan Jia Wern(mooting guy) and associates. She try to link about her pride if she didn't even won anything and stuff. I was telling gerard, "Tiger outside, tauhu inside."
As soft as tauhu(beancurd). Contradicts the fucken shit outta herself. Scared people talk behind her back, which everyone in SJS does. Thats what she said "lucky we manage to get into grand final else people will be talking behind my back" She's a retarded beancurd for crying out loud. In my head i was like "You act so ferocious outside, people talk behind your back you already scared, what sort of a tiger bitch are you? Maybe you're just weak and insecure as a women and take up law diploma just probably to be equal with your husband so your husband can't fucken divorce you cause you BITCH too MUCH!" So and so that you can SUE the FUCKEN SHIT OUTTA Ur HUBBY if he ever screws you and LEAVE you.
Wow.. interesting story ey? Even interactors dislike her.
I don't like her and THIS IS MY BLOG, i DON't GET SUED FOR WRITING THIS . Furthur more, it could be any alice.
Alice Tauhu~

Break time. Met up with the leos.
Got tix for leo installation, movie premier, youth exchange. Movie premier is something called herbie or whatever.
Pass them tix then a talk a while. Darrel, edgar and another guy.. not sure.
Talked crap rest of the day.

English club meeting right after class. Wanted to stay back but went mrs.hon instead. So damn tired anyway.
Was suppose to go lunch with someone but can't. Damn.

It was a rainy afternoon and i guess i'm kinda tried writing so MUCH BS in a day.
It serves no purpose. Its more like a fucken gossip already.

Tata. Nights~

Damn Bugs - Screws Up Time

2005-07-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

Computer bugs. Wasted my time alot restarting, rescanning and trying my very best to get my computer to run as smoothly as before. Its so lagging thanks to bugs like adware, spyware, malware and all those bloody ass-wares. It even screws up your anti-spy ware programs like Ad-aware, SpyDoctor and SpyHunter. Damn these hackers or ass people are good. I've got a hack bible but i'm not into it. I have it in my P2P share folder. LOL ;P
Well, i'll talk about my day later on, maybe tomorrow.
It seems that people are actually reading my blog. Suprisingly.
Seriously, everyone cares about their own life. To everyone, its like "Me, Me, Me." Besides, my life isn't entirely possibly put into words ;) Then again, would like to thank those for reading stuff you don't have too.

I'm glad i'm still able to post a few words here. Its like 2am now.
The day was fun. Tell you more later :P
Tata

Reminder to myself "wrote this on my hand" -6393 Proton Silver -

Flame em!

2005-07-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

Today was awefully fun. It was a day we'd go crazy taking photos and posing like assholes. My cousin said we too eng until take stupid photos. For fun, it was worth it. ;) Frank me and rid did some crazy ass possing.

Right. We burned silver paper, liquid paper, tissue paper and made the whole fcuken class filled with smoke.
Awesome ey? People were complaining but who gives a fcuk. Go BIG Go HOME~ Might as well just arson the fcuken class. :D Woot XD

Next off, we had just the craziest idea. Use a lighter, fil up an empty plastic bottle with gas. Then light it.
Boom. Frank almost lost his hand. LoL. Blue flame exploded from the mouth of the bottle. Best of all, we caught it all in action. The bottle melted. Some of the other dudes saw it too. Dinesh, Adrian, Gerard, Bryan, Ian and some others...were like.. WoAh~ *Ammaazed* I'll show you de movie if ronnie teaches me how to install a movie player or whatever. Yeah baby~

Regarding the photos, check frank's personal profile. I updated photos for him ;) Brought his camera home and updated some of my pix. :)

Frank just looked damn good looking with those middle fingers pointing at ya.
Rest of the day was like okay, Mr Chong is a fagot sissy wuss ugly face full of pork fat and pig nose.
LOL:p Can't describe our physhics teacher. He's just got this "fucken attitude". He's a bloody ugly pervert stalker i think.

Who cares. Just flame him ;)

Ahem ahem. We also did a candid camera on Marz. It was like.. we're filming marz, kelv and vincent.
Then kelv as usual would go like " WUssuP BrUthor, wassup."
Something like that.. we film the whole shit.
Then frank took the film of him pressing marz biseps or rather fat.. lol ;P
Its still huge. fat + muscle = HUGE
Then he'd move on to his private part. Focusing on it. Marz got so pissed he took a book and slapped the cam. LOL...
Frank did it again.. he moved his hand to marz private part again.. Woot... got smacked then kelv came and kicked frank..
Damn.. the whole film was deleted thanks to kelv who got irritated by the film.

Physhics time, we're yappin around while ian was like busy doing computer stuff for the magazine page.
Damn, my photo was retarded. Had to take a new one but he submitted in already. Dang.
Just hope can change my photo. He was busy changing and adding quotes + graphics work.
Marz, Kelv, Frank and me were sitting on the same table in physhics lab.

We talked all sorts of fucken things. It was hillarious. We're like talking about raping this SOMEONE and throw that someone to the crocs(destroy evidence).. LOL.. Talking on how to bang that someone and stuff. Tie her/him up and bang her/him.. lol :p Chain.. all that sorta evil stuff. ;P Fcuk.
Formulin and wadever.. ahahha ;) We're ol enuff to fantasize so fcuk off if u think we're perverts.
If you'd never fantasized, your either a fucken virgin, nerd or fagot. Guy talk all this sorta crap.
I find it immature but fun to some extend. Don't really normally engage in such converse but you know, some of the dudes i'm with has experience with making out. So...u learn a thing or two about brutalizing..

K k.. Dinner time. Still gonna write finish my saturday's blogging. tata

Needle Numbness & Stolen Shoes

2005-07-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

Numb. It was numb. My left arm was numb for the few 30 minutes or so. The nurse injected me with a vaccine i suppose for measles. It was a part of an immunization program. Anyone who didn't went for it will be sent to the fat lady in the principal's office.

Thats about it. It was fast. The needle went in and out. It wasn't painful when it penetrated into my skin. It hurt when the fluid were pumped. The feeling was rather temporal. Everyone in class were laughing and joking about how painful and numb it was. Look around the class and you'll find them holding their immunized arm with a cotton swab as if they broke their arm or something

Anyway, today was just fairly normal. I guess i lost my shoe to thieves. My branded adidas white school shoes which cost like 200 bugs plus. Well, its gone. I'm sort of pissed but i just feel grateful that nothing else was missing on monday morning. Maybe if i didn't loose my shoe, i'd loose my life. Who knows? I just couldn't really figure why on earth someone would steal my shoes that wasn't washed and dirty, but it was easy to make it look brand new. Just wash it with soap and brush it hard would do the trick. It smells too. I'm guessing some local villagers took it but i just feel like choping the theif's hand. Anyway, i forgive him. If he really needs the shoes then just take it.

It sure makes me learn my lesson. I burned a few cds just now for rid and a drift bible for frank.
Nothing much left to say. Just that i want to listen to more subliminal hypnosis and binaural beats. Just need to find time.
I take too much nap time. Constantly oversleep. I guess its time to really start kicking ass. Success tommorrow starts now. I need to program myself for success. I really need to work out my body and mind. I've reminded myself already. Yeah. It was a fun day on last saturday, i'll complete the entire day story. Hope my memory is good.

Another thing, i hate being not photogenic. I still can't accept the fact that i look like some weird defected child cause i feel like Tom Cruise or Edison Chen deep inside myself. LOL ;P Seriously, i feel good-looking inside. I can't trust mirrors cause different mirriors gives you diffrent kinda looks. Generally, get a long mirror and you'll have a longer face. Get a wider mirror and you'll look fatter.
I just wish i'd be given a chance too look at myself through someone's real eyes. Camera? Not. I don't trust cameras.
Pictures are different from what you really see. Thats why some people say they can't capture ghost or spirits on film. They can make fake ones but seriously, spirits do exist and some people see them but cameras can't capture them.
I do really care about looks cause it gives you and extra advantage in life. I've got a friend, when you see his face. You immediately get the pussy face kinda feeling. Once you see him, you already don't like his ugly face.
I don't want to mention names. I don't feel that handsome. I'm just glad i wasn't born that ugly. Everything in this world is sort of balance. Ying and yang. No ones perfect. I'm grateful with my own skin and i just feel great with my own face but one thing, i hate cameras that doesn't show i'm good-looking. LOL. Yeah, cameras do show i'm sort of underweight. So i'm going to work my muscles and gain some more weight. I trust the camera when i check the weighing scale.

Check out man hunt. You'll see why models do have bad pictures too ;P I think i'll be damn good looking after my public exam is over. That time, i shall pursue those good looking babes too ;D Babes with real boobs and not those thinny skinny to the ass girls which i think looks like me currently, abit. LOL
Supposingly so, you'd call me playboy. You are retards, i suppose too :)
Read my previous blog on offending girls.

Saturday, May 21, 2005 - Its OK to be a Man <---READ THIS POSTING TO GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

As long as i'm single, i be with any girl i want. ;p
I need to pick my choices. I don't believe in waiting for some true love to show up infront of you. I'm a dream catcher not a dreamer. Dreamers are gay fagot pussies who don't take action for what they want in life.
You want a chic, get one. Do what you have too ;)

Wow... i thought i wanted to end at stolen shoes.. but owh well.. Cheers to blogging in my personal world ;)

Walked my ass round Kuching city.

2005-07-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

Exam was finally over after 10am. Addmaths was the last paper. Changed my outfit in toilet. Everything was set and ready. Dressed with sports outfit, me, bryan and ronnie walked to medan pelita. Took the route at reservoir park. Our intial plan was to watch initial d. For bryan and me it was like the second time we both watched it. Met Tze Lee(archer boy) on the way, so we decided we tag along with him to archery training centre.

There, played pool with Tze Lee. Then frank came. Ridhwan joined us later at Tun Jugah for lunch. I Ate some sushi. Bryan ordered salmon and ate wasabi till he cried. Then he and Jonathan ordered sizzling noodles i think. Hillarious. Bryan & John were like scouts, so they got along well i think. We booked our tickets early and the movie started like 1pm. To our amazement, time flies when you're enjoying. On the way to Tun Jugah, we stopped at Seven Eleven. Bought slurpie and it taste like fruitade frozen and smashed to small tiny pieces. Whatever, its sucks. I prefer the one at c11. Lemon taste better ;D

Okay, we had loads of fun talking and walking on the way to Tun Jugah for lunch. We were walking behind this westerner. He was like 6ft plus. Curly hair, with like flowery pants for surfing or whatever. Frank, me, ronnie and bryan were like walking behind this dude.
Frank dared bryan to pull down his pants and run with 10 bugs on the line. :P
When bryan wanted to pull, frank was like.. "eh.. stop stop..don't" lol
Seriously i can't imagine what the westerner would think of malaysians if that happen. Would prolly have the impression that asians like westerners ass.
We were like laughing behind this dude and he was like "wtf, these dudes doing behind me laughing?" His body language was like that so i'm asumming he thinks that way.
Anyway, we saw this ferrari opposite riverside. It was a cool car. I got a photo. yeah.. with frank posing with it. :P

Now lunch was at Tun Jugah. I already told you what i ate. The crazy part that happened at Tun Jugah was like, the slurpie that i bought at seven eleven is alot. If i finished it all, i would have a tummy ache probably. Its freezing cold and its gassy for some reason.
Guess what frank did? He went to the lift and wanted to throw the whole thing into the goddamn lift. When the doors open, holy cow, he saw two couples kissing and stuff or whatever in the lift. LOL ;P Luckily he din't throw. So he waited for another lift. This time, he put our leftovers of slurpie into the lift. Right in the middle of the bloody lift and sent it for a ride. :D

It was almost 1 after waiting and eating. Time was like passing fast, talking and craping.
We had like 10 minutes to rush our asses back to Star Cineplex. We left Bryan & John to finish their sizzling noodles since we figured that our movie was starting at 1pm. Me, frank, ronnie and ridhwan rushed to Star. At star, to our amazement, the movie still haven't start even when it was already 1.10pm. I didn't meet anyone i know but i saw a guy and a girl. I was kinda jealous that cute girl would go for such a lame guy. She made eye contact with me tho. Its not my feeling, but that girl should dump him and go for a guy like me. Haha :P I'm such an ass. I wanted to just go and ask her number but then again, i'm not a girlfren robber.

Okay.. now.. its late.. i'll recontinue this.
Tata

Doozes - Lucid Dreams - Dreams of Your Control

2005-07-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

I just would like to tell you, this blog is not for your pleasure reading. Its more for my own personal reflection kind of thing which i can look back and see whats going with my mind. My thoughts. Well, it seems to flow very well with my emotions. I guess it was genetically inherited from my mum. I'm emotionally not stable but improving to be stable. I can't really remember anything that comes into my head but for now i wish express it in this blog, where as to store some of my thoughts will be rather pointless for anyone else to read. So read if you want, read. I am not encouraging anyone to read what i'm doing or whats on my mind anyway. I do believe i lack in vocabulary and my grammar is horrid. Overall, i'm just like above average compared to NOOBs (newbies) who can't even say proper sentences like "I like apple. Apple is sweet and juicy."

Its nearly bedtime. Time really flies again. I feel good really constantly being spontaneous and mysterious. Actually i don't. I hate having so many characteristics. Why can't i just be particularly, JUST HAPPY? It figures that i'm not content to stay contented. Hysterically, i don't know what i am even saying. Mocking terrorist for insane bombings, cursing them.. well i suppose i'm not the only anti-terrorist guy.
Got a few phone calls, from Frank, and Paranoid Boy Kelv. Other than that, it was just plain old regular smses. Chatted to them quite long. Paranoid boy was like really uncool about him getting busted by a trap set by Mr. Micheal Toh (School English Teacher, Strict Englishman Wanna Be). Kel was asking me the same bloody question so many times. Paranoid. Jeez.

I was suppose to be at Physhics Tuition at Mr Khoo doing some last minute revision (reading all the nonsense before seating for a paper the next morning) but it usually doesn't work. It didn't the lasst week. I tend to talk abit too much and as usual laugh till i run out of breath at things that goofy frank does. The words and phrases he uses are simply out of this world. He's got the gift to make life seem much brighter.
No doubt, he is open minded to the extend of what ever i tell him seem to be a success method getting things done correctly. Of course, i'm the smart ass who has tonnes of idea.

My social life. Well. I'm not much of a talker. But i'm very good in one to one but not one to many. I can say i'm doin alright. My nature has always been quiet. Probably thanks to my upbringing. It doesn't really matter, things change and by the time you know it, you've changed.

-SIGNBOARD ---> - S T A R T- R E A D I N G - H E R E-
Right. Now about dreams. I've heard about lucid dreaming once i went deeper into binaural beats. Its fantastic being able to fly like superman in your dream. Great isn't it? Yes. I've had a dream where i felt concious i was in a dream. That happen only once. I want that kind of dream again. Honestly, its new to me but may not be to the some of you.
Every had such a dream? Its so unreal. I don't know how to word it all out. Its phenomenal.
In your own dream world, you can act as if you were like Neo(The Matrix) being in absolute control over time and space. Stopping bullets, jump from buildings to buildings like spiderman, and do those karate killer moves that intriques and rushes your adrenaline.
How to obtain this lucid dreaming. Well again, anything on websites... NOTHING IS FREE unless you ROBE IT / STEAL IT. Its like a fat ugly cashier at Mc Donalds going like "Sir, would you like Mc Happy Meal to go with a free cd by paying extra $9.99?"

I feel like ordering a fish fillet and slapping the waiter with it. That'd be like a dare.

The CD cost around like US$29.99 which i like RM 29.99 X 3.8.

Back to lucid dreaming. The one and only i remembered was an incident where i was being haunted by vampires. This is ridiculuos but dreams do get kind of insane. It makes no sense.
Then all of a sudden in that dream, i was awake. I was like "God damnit. This fake two fanged blood sucking zombie wants a sip of me juices?" It was because i became aware that theres no such nonsense back in reality. I took a giant hammer out like playing a game in a amusement park where you use a spongy hammer and knock the things that pop out of DA HOLE. LOL :P
Dickheads i call them. So i was like using these hammer for dickheads and nail those dicks back to the ground.
Eventually i woke up.

I'm tired, typed too much but i guess it was fun.. I want to re-read what i wrote.
My babe just message me saying she didn't see me and stuff. Girls fall crazily in love i tell you. So crazee it just drive me up my own nuts. ;Op
Man.. sleepy.. no time to correct my english or whatever. Point is, i understand my own language. So mind yours. My brain is like cramp. I got biology facts in my head and i can't really think straight. I've need my theta brain waves to express myself much better.

London Bridge is Fallin Down...Falling Down.. NOT

2005-07-07T04:43:00.000-07:00

Damn terrorist. They should burn in hell and die like the piece of shit they are. Killing lives. Fcuk them and their pathethic life. All they know how to is kill. For christ sake, stop these fucking insanity. Why can't we all just live happily? What for is there to terrorize, you piece of shit. Your shit cost many innocent of lives gone. You happy killing people to go to heaven? Fcuk you retards really in the head. You shits don't even deserve to live.
Just got the info over the news that london was under attack while like Blair is still in scotland.
Bla bla bla. G8 gathering.
And london got host for 2010 olympics.
Who knew terrorist would strike london.
No one..

I feel like calling all the chinese around the world. We are the biggest fucken human race on earth. We'd kill all you fucken faggots. We'd had a fucken army you can't stop. If only chinese people unite. We'd have u fucken terrorist dead. LOL. We'd own blair and bush too and put an end to all the fucken disputes.
Btw, i live in Malaysia.. thats like.. woaw.. but msia is a peaceful country. We are peaceful.
Take example from us.
We express our madness through blogging and not killing people.
Thats it.
Terrorist, one word. Peace.
I can't fcuk you and kill you, but i must accept and forgive you cause you don't know what the fcuk you are doing for ALLAH.
When you meet ALLAH, ask him, why am i not in heaven?
You'll regret what you sorry retards did.

LOL. ANger.. spam on blogging. Interesting ey?
Not to say islam is a bad religion. Some PYSCHO gives ISLAM a bad name.
Owh well, what has happen has happened. War will go on till the end of the days.
Humans will continue killing humans since the very beggining of time.
Survival of the fitest.

Whatever.. choaz.. blogging over.

What a week ahead... Binaural Beats.. extremely awesome.

2005-07-07T02:45:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday, back from exams and all that crap. Got a call from a paranoid freak who is so scared he get busted for using cheat codes in exams just now. Go toilet ahem.. cheat code.. book... Some friends risk shit for me and i'm thankful for it. If you wanna take risk, you got to be cool tho. The whole god damn class are smartasses and risktakers which is... i don't know.. whatever... Teacher was like suspicious. I think i got to stop this risktaking bullshit or end up in JAIL or HELL soon. Haha :P Fcuk who cares.. Al and Frank are great business risktakers....
Whatever~ STFU with exams..... i've been relaxing tho..

I'll have to make up. I din't study much shit for this exam. couldn't give a fcuk. i just hope i can make it up to my real DEAL. the damn spm.
I don know y i lost focus on stuffz. too many things in my head to focus on i guess.. relationships, studies, friends, bla bla bla.. actually its only STUDIES i really have to take care off now.

K. I checked my mail and had some chats.. now here.
K. blog. Going on a date on saturday and let me see.. RaymOnd *aussie* Cyril wants me to hang out at cinema with the rest of his gud ol buddies.

Dillemma dillema. Take lil out or go with the rest of the gang.. or kill two birds with one stone.
I plan to have something romantic. Flowers maybe.. but damn short on cash. Roses would definately surprise her besides a love poem. I wanna make out too. that'd be super awesome.
Its been a while tho. wakkaka :P

So now. Yeah. Checked my mail yesterday. got a mail bout subliminal mind powers.. WOooo.... freaky. Undoubtely, the power of the damn fcuken sub concious mind is damn powerful. TURNS UR DAMN DREAM INTO REALITY.
WTF is it? What the fcuk is BINAURAL BEATS? Music frequencies that is SCIENTIFICALLY proven to help in mediation, studies, sleeping, and whatever.
Needs earphones to listen tho. Sort of hypnosis kinda thing but not.
Its like music, without words. Left and Right earphones have different frequencies. 400hz on left ear, 410 hz on the other. The difference of 10hz stimulates the mind according to the stuff i read.

Okay.. there are different type of frequencies.. 1-3 alpha wave... then theta wave is 3-8. I'm not sure about the frequencies but just go check if u want..
Delta wave too..and other names i couldn't remember.

So what else. Since it was a mail, you can expect they want u to buy their shit. WTF, i'm a poor malaysian smartass. What i do? I search it out using P2P(shareaza). Damn hard to find tho.. Took some time, downloaded some other books and got stuff by anthony robins.. HE USES the same kinda shit music too. He is the smartass who can motivate you to walk over fire... LOL :P thats what james chan said.. my teacher.. lol
He makes tonnes on cash on motivating people and you can find his books almost anywhere.. even on websites.. LOL.

I got a few hours of motivational music from anthony robbins. Music which doesn't have fucken lyrics but it PENETRATES into ur sub concious mind. Encrypted music so called. I got so many HACKING BOOKS in PDF format which i don haf FUCKEN TIME TO READ.
I also got some lock picking techniques book. Damn.. the internet is SUCH A DAMN FUCKIN AWESOME LIBRARY you can ROBE THE SHIT OFF.

Okay. one thing for real. It damn works. It can cause headache. Being a state of mind where ur brain is super learning like brain frequency 3-8hz.. theta wave... half and hour of that shit is equilavant to like 4 hours of ur sleep. You can read all the things and it enters your head. Most importantly retain it. You must fucken try it ;)
Awesome. Switch to sleeping frequency once ur done studying..

http://www.binaural-beats.com/binaural-beats/?int=MO

This shit is scientifically proven and its worth gold.
I got a few samples of good binaural theta beats..
thats all.. i'll blog more soon.

CHECK THE SITE, wanna learn more... googgle it like i did

http://www.binaural-beats.com/binaural-beats/?int=MO

Early Early Morning.. Lets Move It Move It

2005-07-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

Wow. Saturday. Woke up thanks to sms. Feel like using a shotgun and blast my fon.
It seems that i've got used to the routine of busting my eye balls like 3am in the morning.
Its like automagically, i wake up like 3am without anyone giving me a wake up call.
Bloody exams, thanks to them.. i wake up and snooze of again.

Should be GETTING all NERD with my physics revision or should i say NERDING. GET NERD!

Whatever, i hate studying what i don't need too. I study the things i want to and need to use in life. Our education system is fcuked up for all i know.

Now, i'm listening to Madagascars's - I like to Move It.
Awesome headbanging early morning. Parents out.
Drove to Mcdonalds for breakfast. Woot.

Blah...then back home... listening to that song again.
Well its gonna be an awesome day.
Short on cash to spend.. hope some bloody number ( car who got fined for parking near tun jugah) *that guys looses money, i gain it* i saw strike some price for lottery. I need like 400 bugs to get my creative mp3. Yeah.. addmaths tuition later at tabuan. Just below lottery shop. LOL;P

In lottery, its 50/50. Unlike all the bloody bullshit smartasses say about PROXIMITY of striking it big saying its a million to one.
To me, its either win or loose. Therefore its 50:50.

Otherwise, i've to figure out ristaking ways to gain cash...Drugs maybe...gambling.. Shit wadever. I seem to get lucky in betting.

Pray to god like "Why do i have to earn money so hardly and spend it so crazily... Guide me into riches of this world according to your ways and not the devils. You've seen how generous i can be. How much i just give away for your sake."

Well was thinking to be a unitarian universalist instead of being a christian. So what the fcuk is a unitarian universalist. A U.U believes in a controller, master of the universe.. okay?
But no religion will determine the right path to heaven or wadever. Dig? So you are on ur own. Do what you feel is right~ Not bound by rules of bible. Al-quran or wadever shit.
God guides you personally by experience so you'll figure out who god is overtime.

Trust me, you can't trust some damn bloody book and be a religion freak. So much contradictions, so many mistakes. I don't have to prove so... you figure out urself. You got a brain.. use it.
Sometimes its all faith. Its all faith. You just got to have faith. Faith is so powerful. I've seen it do wonders in my life.

I've experienced so much in life and so much knowledge has conditioned into me. Programmed me without even me realizing(sub concious bullshit). Thats why they say knowledge is power.
I think i'm the smartess ass alive seriously that has lived for like 17 year.
Academics is nothing until you apply the shit in live. Scientist do tho.
So if you learn science and you become a businessman. Make sure you make sure u USE it.

How smart you are is because of your damn MEMORY. Abcdefghijklmnop(how the fuck u even remember letters) Letters form words...so all is MEMORY. Logic and thinking also comes from words. NO ONE is stupid unless they are born retards. Autism or wadever.

I don really care what anyone else thinks unless you are "someone" in my life. Else.. just shut the fuck up.
My blog. My rules.

Releases alot of negative bullshit outta me. Feels good scolding fcuk here n there.. haha :P
Yea yea *I like da move it move it"

Bloggy Laggy

2005-06-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

No time to update. Will do after SPM. Revamp the whole damn site.

My Personality (Got a doc to checkup on my brain? ) The pyscho guy was damn correct. Does it make me just ORDINARY? bleh...

2005-05-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, for all you dudes who know me. Well, this is me my characteristics. So far, i got a doc to checkup on my brain and these are the results from my responds toward his questions. Let me highlight those i really think i am what the doc says i am.

I am The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor

#2 Match: I am the Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.Y ou would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

#3 Match: I am The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

#4 Match: I am The Scientist

You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

Well, match 5 is very true about me.. thats what i think. heck.. i don care what u see of me. ;P

#5 Match I am The Mechanic You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.To outsiders you seem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.

The Center Of The Universe Misconception

2005-05-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

Until Copernicus published his ideas in the mid-1500’s, the common
belief was that the Earth was at the center of the universe. Most people
thought that that the planets, stars, and sun all revolved around the Earth.
When Copernicus challenged this idea, he wasn't just challenging an
astronomical belief. At that time, many different beliefs, from how Heaven
and Hell were structured, to Aristotle's Physics, to the basic concept of
egocentric self-importance were all based on this model of the universe.

The Devil was at the center of the Earth in Hell, stones fell because the
place for heavy bodies was at the center of the universe, and we were the
important rulers of the physical world. The idea that the Earth revolved
around the sun required a person to realize that they weren’t so important in
the big scheme of things and change their views of reality. More importantly,
adopting this belief could be seen as blasphemy, punishable by death and
eternal damnation.

To accept that the Earth was not at the center of the universe basically
meant that one would have to change their view of REALITY and accept the
possibility of being killed and going to Hell.
Explained differently: If you lived 500 years ago, then you were raised
with the idea that the Earth was at the center of the universe and everything
from your view of God and religion to your view of physics and the nature of
reality was based on that belief. To even entertain the idea that these beliefs
weren’t true would have been unacceptable and scary.

Its OK to be a Man (Blogged not by me. Girls, get ready to be offended)

2005-05-21T05:07:00.000-07:00

After many years of study, research and trying different things,
I've now realized that there is a conspiracy against men being
successful with women.
It's very real, and it's very pervasive in our culture.
Let me explain.
Most men that I know have some kind of 'feeling' that it's wrong in
some way to sleep with more than one woman at a time (I'm not even
referring to a Menage A Trios, either. I'm talking about plain old run-of-
the-mill dating of a couple of women at a time here).
But most women that I know have more than just a 'feeling' about
this. Most women are outspoken and very forward about the idea that
it's WRONG for most men to date and sleep with more than one
woman.
You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices when they
talk about it.
If you know what I'm talking about, give me a silent nod here.

What I've discovered by doing my homework is that the moral idea
of monogamy (having only one partner at a time) has been formalized,
passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions and
women for thousands of years.
I don't mean to get too far out here, but I feel that understanding
where these beliefs came from and how they are promoted will liberate
many readers.

Onward.

Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago, rulers of lands
kept large harems of women. These harems were guarded carefully to
prevent any males except the rulers from having access to these
women. The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler's women could
be, in an extreme case, your own death plus the deaths of everyone in
your family and village (Back then there were bigger risks involved!)

These rulers kept so many women not just for the sexual variety
that it provided them, but more for the reproductive power that it gave
them. These rulers often had detailed records kept so they could
copulate with only the most fertile women so as to maximize the
woman's chances of pregnancy and passing on their own genes.
So what do you think these rulers did to protect their harems?
Right! They passed laws (that they were exempt from) to promote
monogamy.
In these times there was a great shortage of women, so these laws
would discourage married men (those lucky enough to find a woman)
from seeking sex outside of their marriage, and therefore protect the
ruler's harem further.

Next, we have the church.
Many religions prohibit sex, make sex 'wrong,' give it some name
with negative connotation like 'fornication,' or in one way or another
discourage it.
I once heard a wise man say "Religions take everything that your
DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it
wrong." Why? Well, if you're busy fighting your internal drives, and
you see God as the only way to cleanse yourself of these 'bad'
thoughts, then you are a much better SHEEP.
If you want to get people to follow you, first confuse them, then
convince them that you know the way to get them out of their
confused state. Easy.

Finally, we have women. This is the interesting one.
If you look at it from an 'economic' standpoint, it doesn't benefit
women at all to have their man running around having sex with other
women. She can only be pregnant with one child at a time, and she
can only raise a limited number at a time, so having a man that's out
spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her. When you're
out spreading seed, you can't be working or home helping. Even
worse, you might have other kids with other women which will divide
your attention and income further. (By the way, I'm not saying that
there's anything wrong with women's perspectives. I'm just saying
that if you look at it from their point of view, there's not a lot of
benefit to having a man that likes to sleep with a lot of women.
So anything that promotes monogamy, like religion, is seen as
'right' to many women, as it goes along with what they know and feel
is right.

Now let's talk about men.
My research leads me to believe that men are 'naturally' inclined to
have one main woman that they are devoted to, but that they like to
sleep with other women as opportunity arises. You can believe what
you want, but do yourself a favor and read Matt Ridley's book "The
Red Queen" before you start speculating.
Think about it. There are major advantages to men (or at least to
their genes) to sleep with many women.
First, it doesn't take a lot of energy, and there's not very much risk
involved (I realize that there is risk of disease, etc. but for the moment
think about the fact that a man could probably father dozens of
children before a disease would take him out, making the trade off,
genetically speaking, a no brainer).

I personally believe that men are hard wired to look for sexual
opportunities and seek out sexual variety. (Let me also add that just
because you're hard wired to like sweet foods doesn't mean that you
should eat only sweet foods. This will lead you to sickness and
eventually can lead to disease and death.)

With this in mind, I'd like you to ask yourself:

What are my beliefs about monogamy?
Where did they come from?
Do I like my beliefs?
Do my beliefs conflict with my inner drives?
Would I like to change what I believe based on this new
information?

In any event, from now forward, don't let anyone or anything make
you feel bad because of your NATURAL desires and attraction to
women. (I'm, of course, talking about reasonable desires and
attractions. If you like to think about hurting women, underage
women, etc. then do yourself a favor and get some help.)

But if you're like me and you were given a set of ideas about
women that you are now realizing to be less than useful, then move on
and start thinking about the subject differently.
My perspective is that sleeping with different women breaks no
'law of the universe,' and it's not an ethical dilemma for me. Any
objections that are in existence were created mostly to control, not to
liberate.

My perspective is also that it's important to be honest with
people about your views. And yes, this means talking to women about
them. In my life, I've mostly had long term girlfriends. And if I tell a
woman that I'm going to be faithful, then I am.
But if I'm single, then I see nothing wrong with dating as many
women as I want. (Keep in mind that there are some crazy viruses,
diseases and other scary bugs that want to jump on your wiener. So
use good judgement.)

I've found that if you explain the topic like I just have to a woman,
you'll often show her a perspective that she's never even thought of.
My experience is that women actually LOVE to hear a man talking this
way. It's refreshing to women to hear a man being open about this
controversial topic rather than hiding his ideas. It's important to
remember what I said above: "It's OK To Be A Man."

Looking at the way things are...

2005-05-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

It seems that time is like an hour glass, a small spec of sand flowing down continuosly, gravitated by the force that compels us to this earth we stand on. For as i look at time, i realized how fast the sand flows merely depends on how occupied we are doing something for all nothing. Seventeen years pass me by bringing joy, hapiness, sorrow, challenge, hope, faith, wisdom, beyond my own reasoning to accept it as it is. It is a journey for reasons beyond my own comprehension, beyond the infinities of my reasoning. All that is behind me shall never cease again resurrect in front of me to consume my living flesh and soul, for to look behind is to live in memories, the past. Countless hours spent in silence has truely been my nature. Pursuing only to get the best out my true potiential has always been always my mission of absolution. Changing what is wrong to right is constantly on my mind, like a habit of washing your face every morning. It is habitual due to my surroundings as i learn to adapt with life and flow with the streams of life as each spec of sand flows from the hour glass. Without the capability to cope with my surroundings, situations, i cannot survive, i'd go extinct just like the dinosaurs would. My flexibility utimately depends on how i want to think of others and myself. Gazing into the infinite panaromas of memories is just satisfying to learn something from and worth enscapulating if there will come to a day where my journals are brought back to life in this puny little world of an infinite universe. Creating a change in myself, is better than creating a name. Ultimately, what we think is if of no value to others if words, thoughts, speech is to be enforced with results to the eye of others, success. Like a pillar supporting a house and holding it together. Without the pillar, the building can't hold for long. My life are full of pillars of wisdom strongly supporting the big dreams i have. Its as if i have strengthen my pillars as years pass me by. I live as if this roof was made of tonnes of gold that sometimes my pillars seem to tremble and shake. To define success merely depends on ones' self but to reach a point where success is accepted by all, is the dream i would love to live and walk. Only one who has been successful in the eyes of others will be heard, an extraordinary human. Life is like a painting a picture, you fill it with colors with the brush you have. Get more colours and you'll beautify your work of art. In the end, I can stare at it with pure satisfaction that Me, the art was different than any other being that i myself am unique and special. I hope by writing more journals, my command of this language will improve. Doing little things accumulates over the years and without realizing, you'll be on the top with every little step you take.